screenplay by STEVEN KLOVES
based on the novel by
J.K. ROWLING
FADE IN:
1 EXT. PRIVET DRIVE - DAY 1
WIDE HELICOPTER SHOT. Privet Drive. CAMERA CRANES DOWN,
DOWN, OVER the rooftops, FINDS the SECOND FLOOR WINDOW of
NUMBER 4. HARRY POTTER sits in the window.
2 OMITTED 2
3 INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - DAY 3
Harry pages through a SCRAPBOOK, stops on a MOVING PHOTO
of Ron and Hermione. SQUAWK! Harry jumps. HEDWIG pecks
at the LOCK slung through her cage door, then glowers at
Harry.
HARRY
I can't, Hedwig. I'm not allowed
to use magic outside of school.
Besides, if Uncle Vernon --
At the sound of the name, HEDWIG SQUAWKS again, LOUDER.
UNCLE VERNON (O.S.)
Har-ry Pot-ter!
HARRY
Now you've done it.
4 INT. KITCHEN - DAY 4
While AUNT PETUNIA puts the finishing touches to a
PUDDING of WHIPPED CREAM and SUGARED VIOLETS, UNCLE
VERNON struggles with DUDLEY'S BOW TIE, all the while
glowering at Harry.
UNCLE VERNON
I warned you. If you can't
control that bloody bird, it'll
have to go.
HARRY
She's bored. If I could just let
her out for an hour or two --
UNCLE VERNON
And have you sending secret
messages to your freaky little
friends? No, sir.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 2.
4 CONTINUED: 4
HARRY
But I haven't gotten any messages.
From any of my friends. Not one.
All summer.
DUDLEY
Who'd want to be friends with you?
UNCLE VERNON
I should think you'd be more
grateful. We raise you since you
were a baby, give you food off our
table, even let you have Dudley's
second bedroom... purely out of
the goodness of our hearts.
DUDLEY
I thought he got the second
bedroom because Mum was afraid
he'd turn us into dung beetles if
you put him back in the cupboard
under the stairs.
AUNT PETUNIA stops cold, exchanges a dark look with Uncle
Vernon, then sees Dudley extending a finger for the
pudding.
AUNT PETUNIA
Not yet, popkin. That's for when
the Masons arrive.
UNCLE VERNON
Which should be any moment. Now.
Let's run through our schedule one
more time. Petunia, when the
Masons get here, you will be --
AUNT PETUNIA
In the lounge, waiting to welcome
them graciously to our home.
UNCLE VERNON
Good. And Dudley?
DUDLEY
I'll be waiting to open the door.
UNCLE VERNON
Excellent.
(turning on Harry)
And you?
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 5/14/02 3.
4 CONTINUED: (2) 4
HARRY
I'll be in my bedroom, making no
noise and pretending I don't
exist.
UNCLE VERNON
Too right you will. With any
luck, this could well be the day I
make the biggest deal of my
career.
DOORBELL RINGS. Instantly, Uncle Vernon shoves Harry out
of the kitchen and into the hallway.
UNCLE VERNON
Upstairs! Hurry!
5 OMITTED 5
6 INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - DAY 6
Harry enters, turns, and stops dead: a tiny CREATURE
with bat-like ears and bulging green eyes is jumping on
his bed as if it were a trampoline. This is DOBBY.
DOBBY
Harry Potter! Such an honor it
is!
(CONTINUED)
4.
6 CONTINUED: 6
HARRY
What... Who are you?
DOBBY
Dobby, sir. Dobby the house elf.
HARRY
I see. Not to be rude or
anything, but this isn't a great
time for me to have a house-elf in
my bedroom.
DOBBY
Oh, yes, sir, Dobby understands.
It's just that, Dobby has come to
tell you... it is difficult, sir...
Dobby wonders where to begin.
HARRY
Why don't you sit down?
DOBBY
S-s-sit down?
Suddenly Dobby BURSTS INTO TEARS. LOUD TEARS. Harry
panics.
HARRY
Shhhh! I'm sorry. I didn't mean
to offend you or anything --
DOBBY
Offend Dobby! Dobby has heard of
your greatness, sir, but never has
he been asked to sit down by a
wizard, like an equal...
HARRY
You can't have met many decent
wizards then.
Dobby shakes his head, then without warning, LEAPS off the
bed and starts to BANG HIS HEAD FURIOUSLY ON THE FLOOR.
DOBBY
Bad Dobby! Bad Dobby!
7 INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY 7
Uncle Vernon pours champagne for MR. and MRS. MASON. As
Dobby's HEAD BANGING sounds from above, all eyes shift to
the ceiling. Uncle Vernon chuckles nervously.
(CONTINUED)
5.
7 CONTINUED: 7
UNCLE VERNON
Don't mind that. It's just the...
cat.
DUDLEY
Cat? What cat?
UNCLE VERNON
Our cat, tiger.
8 INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - DAY 8
Dobby gets back to his feet, wobbling, eyes spinning
dizzily. Harry regards him with a mixture of concern...
and wariness.
HARRY
Are you... all right?
DOBBY
Dobby had to punish himself, sir.
Dobby almost spoke ill of his
family, sir.
HARRY
Your... family?
DOBBY
The wizard family Dobby serves,
sir. Dobby is bound to serve one
family forever. If they ever knew
Dobby was here...
Dobby shudders in fear, then looks up, WHISPERS urgently.
DOBBY
But Dobby had to come. Dobby has
to protect Harry Potter. To warn
him.
(in a fierce whisper)
Harry Potter must not go back to
Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and
Wizardry this year.
HARRY
Not go back? But... I have to.
DOBBY
This is a plot. A plot to make
most terrible things happen. If
Harry Potter goes back to school
he will be in great danger.
(CONTINUED)
6.
8 CONTINUED: 8
HARRY
What terrible things? Who's
plotting them?
Dobby makes a funny CHOKING and GAGGING noise.
HARRY
Okay! I understand. You can't
say --
Too late. Dobby grabs the bedside lamp and starts
beating himself about the head and YELPING LOUDLY.
9 INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY 9
Uncle Vernon is in the midst of telling a joke.
UNCLE VERNON
They arrive at the ninth hole
and --
DOBBY'S YELPS INTERRUPT, ringing out from above.
MR. MASON
Sounds as if that cat of yours has
dragged something in with it,
Dursley.
UNCLE VERNON
Not to worry. I'll sort it out.
10 INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - DAY 10
Harry wrestles the lamp away from Dobby.
HARRY
Stop! Stop!
FOOTSTEPS THUNDER on the landing. Quickly, Harry grabs
Dobby by the pillowcase and pitches him into the
wardrobe... just as the door FLINGS OPEN.
UNCLE VERNON
What the devil are you doing up
here! You've just ruined the
punch line of my Japanese golfer
joke. One more sound and you'll
wish you'd never been born, boy!
He stomps flat-footed from the room and SLAMS THE DOOR.
Harry lets Dobby out of the wardrobe.
(CONTINUED)
7.
10 CONTINUED: 10
HARRY
See why I've got to go back? I
don't belong here. I belong in
your world -- at Hogwarts. It's
the only place I've got...
friends.
DOBBY
Friends who don't even write to
Harry Potter?
HARRY
Well, I expect they've been --
hang on, how do you know my
friends haven't been writing me?
Guiltily, Dobby takes out a STACK of LETTERS.
DOBBY
Harry Potter mustn't be angry with
Dobby -- Dobby hoped if Harry
Potter thought his friends had
forgotten him... Harry Potter
might not want to go back to
school, sir...
HARRY
Give me those. Now.
Dobby frowns sadly, then DASHES out the door.
Panicking...
11 INT. HALLWAY/STAIRS/KITCHEN - DAY 11
... Harry flies desperately after, Dobby bouncing like a
ping-pong ball down the stairs and into the kitchen. As
Harry races in, he finds Dobby on the counter, waving his
arms. Aunt Petunia's masterpiece of a pudding RISES,
then floats into the living room, HOVERING over the
Mason's heads. The Masons don't see, but the Dursleys --
goggle-eyed--do.
HARRY
Dobby... Please... No...
DOBBY
Harry Potter must say he's not
going back to school.
HARRY
I can't. Hogwarts is my home.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 4/9/02 8.
11 CONTINUED: 11
DOBBY
(a tragic
expression)
Then Dobby must do it, sir. For
Harry Potter's own good.
Dobby SNAPS HIS FINGERS. The pudding PLUMMETS...
straight onto the Masons. They stand blinking, covered
head to foot with whipped cream and sugared violets. The
Masons exit. Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia race after
them.
UNCLE VERNON
I'm sorry. It's our nephew. Very
disturbed. Meeting strangers
upsets him, so we kept him
upstairs...
11A EXT. DURSLEY HOUSE - DAY 11A
The Masons RACE out of the house, the Dursleys FOLLOWING.
AUNT PETUNIA
We have ice cream...
The Masons get into their car and drive off, just as a
SHRIEKING SOUND splits the sky. An OWL SWOOPS down, and
DROPS a LETTER at Uncle Vernon's feet. He picks up the
letter, opens it. As he reads it, a mad gleam dances in
Uncle Vernon's eye. He turns and races back inside the
house. Aunt Petunia follows.
11B INT. DURSLEY HOUSE - NIGHT 11B
Uncle Vernon runs back into the living room, extends the
letter to Harry.
UNCLE VERNON
Go on. Read it.
HARRY
'Dear Mr. Potter. We have
received intelligence that a Hover
Charm was used at your place of
residence at twelve minutes past
seven this evening. As you know,
underage wizards...'
UNCLE VERNON
'... are not permitted to perform
spells outside school.'
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 4/9/02 8A.
11B CONTINUED: 11B
UNCLE VERNON (CONT'D)
(snatching the letter)
You didn't tell us you weren't
Allowed to use magic at home.
Slipped your mind, didn't it?
(MORE)
(CONTINUED)
9.
11B CONTINUED: (2) 11B
UNCLE VERNON (CONT'D)
Well, I've got news for you, boy.
I'm locking you up! And if you
try to magic yourself out, they'll
expel you! You're never going
back to that school! Never!
12 EXT./INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - NEXT DAY 12
A SHORT MONTAGE BEGINS:
Uncle Vernon fits IRON BARS to the inside of Harry's
window.
Drills a METAL FLAP to the base of the bedroom door.
Fits a FAT, GREY LOCK to the door itself. Soaking with
sweat, he casts Harry a nasty grin and pulls shut the
DOOR. It closes with the DULL CLANK of a cell.
13 INT. HARRY'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 13
Harry stares gloomily out the window. The METAL FLAP
RATTLES and Dudley's pudgy hand slides a BOWL of TINNED
SOUP onto the floor. He grins cruelly through the
opening.
DUDLEY
I know what day it is.
HARRY
Well done, Dudley. Finally
learned the days of the week, have
you.
DUDLEY
Today's your birthday. And nobody
cares.
Dudley SNAPS SHUT the flap. Harry sighs, takes the soup
and a bit of stale bread, and crosses to Hedwig.
HARRY
It's no good turning your beak up.
It's all we've got.
Harry feeds a piece of bread to Hedwig... as we...
DISSOLVE TO:
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 3/1/02 10.
13 CONTINUED: 13
SAME SCENE - LATER
Harry leans against the wall. Asleep. There is a gentle
TAPPING SOUND. Harry opens his eyes and is stunned to
see... RON WEASLEY staring through the bedroom window.
HARRY
Ron?
RON
Hiya, Harry.
13A EXT. DURSLEY HOUSE - NIGHT 13A
An OLD, TURQUOISE-COLORED FORD ANGLIA floats in midair.
Ron leans out the back window. His brother FRED sits in
the driver's seat. Fred's twin George is in the
passenger seat.
HARRY
Fred? George? What're you doing
here?
RON
Rescuing you, of course. Where's
your trunk?
13B CLOSEUP - HARRY'S TRUNK 13B
Stuffed with clothes, spellbooks. The trunk CLOSES, SNAPS
SHUT. Harry drags the trunk to the windowsill, watches Ron
tie off a fierce knot on the bars of Harry's window.
RON
Stand back.
Harry steps back. Ron turns, nods to Fred.
13C INSERT - FRED'S FOOT 13C
Fred STEPS ON the accelerator.
13D EXT. DURSLEY HOUSE - NIGHT 13D
The Ford Anglia FLIES UP into the air, the rope SNAPS
TIGHT, and -- CRUNCH! -- the bars are TORN from the
window. Bricks and bars RAIN DOWN onto the lawn below, a
mangled mess.
13E INT. UNCLE VERNON'S BEDROOM - NIGHT 13E
Uncle Vernon WAKES...
11.
14 OMITTED 14
thru thru
16 16
17 INT./EXT. HARRY'S BEDROOM/THE CAR - MOMENTS LATER 17
Harry pushes the trunk over the sill into the Anglia's
boot, then scrambles through the window himself, when...
SQUAWK!
HARRY
Hedwig!
Harry clambers back, grabs Hedwig's cage, swings it onto
the ledge, when... BAM! The bedroom door CRASHES OPEN.
UNCLE VERNON
Petunia! He's getting away!
As Harry leaps for the windowsill, Uncle Vernon CHARGES
FORWARD and SNATCHES his ankle. Harry tumbles into the
darkness, one hand gripping Hedwig's cage, the other
reaching out and... CATCHING Ron's at the last possible
second.
Uncle Vernon puts both hands to Harry's ankle, pulls
harder. Ron braces himself, pulls back. Harry hangs,
stretched high over the lawn, directly above the mangled
steel bars.
CLOSEUP: Harry's hand begins to slip from Ron's fingers.
INSIDE OF CAGE: Hedwig PECKS feverishly at the LOCK.
CLOSE-UP: Ron. PANICKED.
RON
Hold on, Harry!
UNCLE VERNON
Oh no, boy! You and that bloody
pigeon aren't going anywhere!
CLOSE-UP: Harry's hand begins to slip away from Ron's.
INSIDE OF CAGE: Hedwig PECKS HARDER and... the CAGE
OPENS.
Hedwig SWOOPS into the sky, WHEELS BACK and hammers her
beak into Uncle Vernon's hand. He ROARS, stumbles back
and... Ron and George pull Harry into the air.
RON
Put your foot down, Fred!
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 12.
17 CONTINUED: 17
Like a rocket, the Anglia sails into the stars. Harry
glances back, sees Aunt Petunia and Dudley join Uncle
Vernon at the window. As Hedwig races up, soaring just
beyond the car window, Ron turns to Harry.
RON
By the way, Harry. Happy
Birthday.
DISSOLVE TO:
18 EXT. THE BURROW - EARLY MORNING 18
As the Anglia drops through a pink sky, a haphazard mess
of a HOUSE, built around a towering central chimney,
appears below. By the road, a lopsided SIGN reads: THE
BURROW. FLUMPH! The car touches down in a WHIRLING CONE
of dust, scatters a group of chickens, and fishtails to a
halt. The boys spill quickly out of the car. FRED
WHISPERS urgently.
FRED
Hurry! Let's nip inside before
Mum wakes up!
19 INT. FRONT ROOM - THE BURROW - MOMENTS LATER 19
The boys sneak inside, gently close the door. Harry
stops. Magical objects surround him: A CLOCK displays
different chores for each family member. A pair of
NEEDLES knit a sweater by themselves. And a stack of
PLAYING CARDS that. A stack of PLAYING CARDS SHUFFLE
themselves, providing a cooling breeze for Ron's aging
rat, SCABBERS. Ron shrugs, averts his eyes self-
consciously.
RON
It's not much.
HARRY
I think it's... brilliant!
Ron looks up. Sees Harry's mesmerized face. Slowly...
GRINS.
MRS. WEASLEY (O.S.)
WHERE... HAVE... YOU... BEEN?!
The boys nearly jump out of their skin. MRS. WEASLEY
stands in the doorway. Furious. She smiles sweetly at
Harry.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 13.
19 CONTINUED: 19
MRS. WEASLEY
Harry! How wonderful to see you.
(back to the boys)
Beds empty! No note! You
could've died! You could've been
seen!
(again, to Harry)
I don't blame you, of course,
dear.
RON
They were starving him, Mum!
There were bars on his window!
MRS. WEASLEY
You best hope I don't put bars on
your window, Ronald Weasley!
(softening instantly)
Care for a spot of tea, Harry?
GINNY
Mummy. Have you seen my jumper --
A small, RED-HEADED GIRL appears. Sees Harry. And...
SQUEALS. Dashes back up the stairs. Ron frowns.
RON
Ginny. Been talking about you all
summer. Dead annoying, really.
GEORGE
Dad's home!
The front door OPENS and ARTHUR WEASLEY enters. A tall
man with red hair, his robes look dusty and travel-worn.
MR. WEASLEY
What a night! Nine raids! Nine!
HARRY
(to Ron)
Raids?
RON
Dad works at the Ministry of
Magic. In the Misuse of Muggle
Artefacts Office.
HARRY
The Misuse of Muggle Artefacts...?
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 14.
19 CONTINUED: (2) 19
RON
That's when wizards bewitch
something to drive Muggles mad.
Shrinking door keys, that kind of
thing. Dad loves Muggles. Thinks
they're fascinating.
Mr. Weasley hangs up his cloak, turns. Blinks.
MR. WEASLEY
Well now. Who are you?
RON
Harry, sir. Harry Potter.
MR. WEASLEY
Good Lord, are you really? Ron's
told us all about you, of course.
When did you get here?
MRS. WEASLEY
(darkly)
This morning. Your sons flew that
enchanted car of yours to Surrey
house and back last night.
MR. WEASLEY
Did you now! How'd it go?!
(catching his
wife's eye)
I... I mean... That was very
wrong, boys. Very wrong indeed.
So, Harry. You must know all
about Muggles. Tell me, what
exactly is the function of a
parking meter?
Harry is about to answer, when he notices an OWL (ERROL)
soaring toward the kitchen window. To Harry's horror,
the owl doesn't pull up. It just flies... SMACK!... into
the glass.
MRS. WEASLEY
That must be Errol with the post.
Fetch him, will you, George?
George takes the unconscious Errol, absently lays him on
a draining board, and takes the LETTERS clutched in his
claws.
GEORGE
It's our Hogwarts letters! And
look. They've sent Harry's as well.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 15.
19 CONTINUED: (3) 19
MR. WEASLEY
Dumbledore must know you're here,
Harry. Doesn't miss a trick, that
man.
FRED
(reading his)
This lot won't come cheap, Mum.
The spellbooks alone...
MRS. WEASLEY
We'll manage. Right then.
There's only one place to get all
of this.
HARRY/RON/FRED/GEORGE
Diagon Alley!
19A OMITTED 19A
thru thru
23 23
24 INT. LIVING ROOM - THE BURROW - DAY (LATER) 24
Everyone has gathered in front of the large fireplace.
MRS. WEASLEY
You first, Harry dear.
Mrs. Weasley offers Harry a FLOWERPOT. At the bottom is
a layer of VERY SOFT DUST. Harry frowns in confusion.
RON
Harry's never traveled by Floo
Powder before, Mum.
HARRY
Floo Powder?
Just then, Ron's older brother PERCY enters.
MRS. WEASLEY
Percy. Would you mind going
first, so Harry can see how it's
done?
PERCY
Certainly, Mother. Don't worry,
Harry. It's simple enough.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 16.
24 CONTINUED: 24
Percy takes a pinch from the pot, pitches it into the
fireplace and BRIGHT GREEN FLAMES ROAR HIGH. To Harry's
amazement, he calmly walks... straight into them.
PERCY
Diagon Alley.
Percy VANISHES. Tentatively, Harry reaches into the pot.
MRS. WEASLEY
Remember to speak clearly, dear!
RON
And mind you get out at the right grate!
HARRY
(nodding, unsure)
D-Dia-gon Alley!
25 INT. SPIRALING TUNNEL 25
The SOUND is DEAFENING as Harry hurtles forward,
squinting against the sting of WHIRLING SOOT and the mad,
flickering lights of passing fireplaces. He falls face
forward...
26 INT. BORGIN AND BURKES - STONE FIREPLACE - DAY 26
... onto a stone hearth. Dizzy and dirty, Harry reclaims
his shattered glasses. He's tumbled into a wizard's
shop, but a decidedly creepy one. He starts to exit,
when a WITHERED HAND in a GLASS CASE catches his eye:
The Hand of Glory. Nearby, an OPAL NECKLACE gleams:
Caution: Do not touch. Cursed--Has Claimed the Lives of
Nineteen Muggle Owners to Date. Oddly transfixed by it
all, Harry drifts toward the exit, when...
(CONTINUED)
17.
26 CONTINUED: 26
DRACO MALFOY and his father, LUCIUS MALFOY, appear beyond
the front window, approaching the shop. Harry glances
about, spies a LARGE BLACK CABINET and slips inside. As
he pulls the doors closed, a TINY CARD swings INTO VIEW:
Crushing Cabinet.
Malfoy and his father enter. A stooped man (MR. BORGIN)
emerges from the back room. IN THE CABINET, Harry
watches, unaware that the walls around him are... SLOWLY
CLOSING IN.
MR. BORGIN
Mr. Malfoy! What a pleasure to
see you again. If I may, just in
today --
LUCIUS MALFOY
I'm not buying today, Mr. Borgin.
But selling.
MR. BORGIN
Selling?
LUCIUS MALFOY
You have heard, of course, that
the Ministry of Magic is
conducting more raids. There are
even rumors of a new Muggle
Protection Act...
Lucius unravels a roll of parchment, hands it to Borgin.
LUCIUS MALFOY
I have a few... ah... items at
home that might prove embarrassing
if the Ministry were to call.
Certain poisons and the like...
MR. BORGIN
Hmmm... yes. I see...
INSIDE THE CABINET, Harry realizes the walls are CLOSING
IN. His eyes shift upward. The ceiling is DROPPING.
Draco drifts to the Hand of Glory, reaches out, when...
the HAND GRABS HIM. Draco shrieks, manages to slip free,
then calms. He eyes the hand with malicious glee.
DRACO
Can I have this?
(CONTINUED)
18.
26 CONTINUED: (2) 26
MR. BORGIN
Ah, the Hand of Glory. Insert a
candle and it gives light only to
the holder. Best friend of
thieves and plunderers. Your son
has fine taste, sir.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Hopefully my son will amount to
more than a thief, Mr. Borgin.
Though if his marks don't pick
up --
DRACO
It's not my fault the teachers
have favorites. That Hermione
Granger --
LUCIUS MALFOY
I would have thought you'd be
ashamed that a girl of no
wizarding family beat you in every
exam.
MR. BORGIN
It's the same all over. Wizard
blood is counting for less
everywhere.
LUCIUS MALFOY
(deadly)
Not with me.
INSIDE THE CABINET, Harry's knees are up under his chin...
Borgin checks off one last time, then returns the
parchment to Lucius. Satisfied, Malfoy nods.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Very good. I'll expect you at the
manor tomorrow. Come, Draco.
They exit. As Borgin slips into the back room, the
Crushing Cabinet's doors FLY OPEN and Harry leaps free.
Inside, the walls, floor, and ceiling SNAP SHUT! Borgin
reappears, blinks curiously at Harry, then watches him
RACE out the door.
27 EXT. KNOCKTURN ALLEY - DAY (MOMENTS LATER) 27
Once outside, Harry fits his broken glasses to his face,
eyes a STREET SIGN: "KNOCKTURN ALLEY."
(CONTINUED)
19.
27 CONTINUED: 27
The vendors here clearly cater to the Dark Arts:
SHRUNKEN HEADS, POISONOUS CANDLES. One window teems with
SPIDERS.
AGED WITCH (O.S.)
Not lost are you, my dear?
Harry wheels, looking into the mossy teeth of a decrepit
WITCH. She holds a tray of HUMAN FINGERNAILS.
HARRY
I'm fine, thanks. I'm just --
HAGRID
HARRY! What d'yer think yer doin'
down 'ere?
HARRY
Hagrid!
Hagrid knocks the tray from the cursing Witch's hands,
then seizes Harry by the scruff of the neck and steers
him away.
28 EXT. DIAGON ALLEY - CONTINUOUS ACTION - DAY 28
Hagrid swats at Harry's sooty clothes.
HAGRID
Yer a mess! Skulkin' 'round
Knockturn Alley. Dodgy place,
Harry. Don't want no one ter see
yeh down there. People'll be
thinkin' yer up ter no good.
HARRY
I was lost, I -- Hang on. What
were you doing down there?
HAGRID
I was lookin' fer a Flesh Eatin'
Slug Repellent. They're ruinin'
the school cabbages.
HERMIONE (O.S.)
Harry!
Harry looks up, sees HERMIONE GRANGER standing at the top
of Gringotts' white steps. She runs down to meet them.
(CONTINUED)
20.
28 CONTINUED: 28
HERMIONE
Hello, Hagrid. Oh, it's wonderful
to see you two again.
She stops then, cocks her head curiously at Harry, then
takes out her wand and points it directly between his
eyes.
HERMIONE
Oculus Reparo.
Instantly, Harry's glasses are mended.
HARRY
I need to remember that one.
HERMIONE
C'mon. Everyone's been so worried.
Hermione leads them to Gringotts, where Hermione's rather
nervous-looking Muggle parents stand with the Weasleys.
MR. WEASLEY
So you're dentists! Fascinating!
I understand other Muggles quite
fear you? Why is that?
MRS. WEASLEY
Oh, Harry. Thank goodness. We
hoped you'd only gone one grate
too far. Come now. We're off to
Flourish and Blotts.
HERMIONE
Isn't it thrilling! Gilderoy
Lockhart's going to be there! We
can actually meet him! I mean,
he's written almost the whole
booklist!
As Mrs. Weasley and Hermione dash off, Harry frowns.
HARRY
Who?
29 OMITTED 29
29A EXT. FLOURISH AND BLOTTS - DAY 29A
CLOSE-UP: GILDEROY LOCKHART. A handsome, golden-haired
wizard with stunning pearl-white teeth. He miles, winks
at the camera.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 21.
29A CONTINUED: 29A
DOLLY BACK to reveal that the image of Lockhart is
actually a MOVING PHOTOGRAPH propped in the window. A
PLACARD declares: HERE TODAY! SIGNING COPIES OF HIS
AUTOBIOGRAPHY, MAGICAL ME... GILDEROY LOCKHART!
30 INT. FLOURISH AND BLOTTS - DAY 30
Harry and the others thread their way through a
CHATTERING THRONG of MIDDLE-AGED LADIES, all craning
their necks for a view of Lockhart, who sits signing
books at the rear of the shop. At the sight of him, Mrs.
Weasley pats her hair.
MRS. WEASLEY
There he is!
RON
Mum fancies him.
For this, Mrs. Weasley gives Ron a jab in the shoulder.
A SHORT MAN WITH A CAMERA bumps past.
SHORT MAN
Out of the way! This is for The
Daily Prophet!
Instantly, Lockhart looks up, flashes a smile, when...
GILDEROY LOCKHART
It can't be Harry Potter?
The crowd WHISPERS excitedly as Lockhart dives forward,
seizes Harry's hand and turns him toward the
photographer.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
(under his breath)
Nice big smile, Harry. Together,
you and I rate the front page.
(as the CAMERA FLASHES)
Ladies and gentlemen! What an
extraordinary moment this is!
When young Harry here stepped into
Flourish and Blotts this morning
to purchase my autobiography,
Magical Me -- which, incidentally
is celebrating its twenty-seventh
week atop The Daily Prophet's
Bestseller List -- he had no idea
that he would, in fact, be leaving
with my entire collected works!
Free of charge!
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 22.
30 CONTINUED: 30
As the crowd CLAPS, Lockhart catches the eye of a FLUNKY
and, before Harry knows it, a towering stack of books is
shoved into his arms. Mortified, Harry mumbles quietly.
HARRY
Thank you.
Slipping free, Harry drifts back into the crowd and, red
with embarrassment, drops the books into Ginny's
cauldron.
HARRY
You have these. I'll buy my
own --
DRACO
(appearing, sneers)
Bet you loved that, didn't you,
Potter? Famous Harry Potter.
Can't even go into a bookshop
without making the front page.
GINNY
Leave him alone! He didn't want
all that!
DRACO
Look, Potter. You've got yourself
a girlfriend!
(CONTINUED)
23.
30 CONTINUED: (2) 30
LUCIUS MALFOY
Silence, Draco! Ah... Mr. Potter.
I don't believe we've met.
Lucius Malfoy extends his hand, as if offering to shake
Harry's, but instead gently plays his fingers over the
fringe of Harry's scalp, revealing Harry's LIGHTNING BOLT
SCAR. At his touch, Harry withdraws, ever so slightly.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Forgive me, Mr. Potter. But your
scar is legend. As, of course, is
the wizard who gave it to you.
HARRY
He was a murderer.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Yes, a pity about your parents.
Curious that you yourself should
escape with a mere flesh wound.
Curious, too, that you speak of
him in the past. Surely, you
don't think He-Who-Must-Not-Be-
Named is gone forever.
HARRY
His name is Voldemort.
Those within earshot gasp as Harry utters the word.
LUCIUS MALFOY
You must be very brave, Mr.
Potter, to dare speak his name.
Or foolish.
HERMIONE
Fear of a name only increases fear
of the thing itself.
Lucius Malfoy's eyes slide, find Hermione staring
defiantly.
LUCIUS MALFOY
You must be Miss Granger. Draco's
told me all about you... and your
parents. Muggles, aren't you?
Mr. and Mrs. Granger nod nervously. Lucius Malfoy can
barely disguise his distaste for them. Arthur Weasley
hurries over.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 5/14/02 24.
30 CONTINUED: (3) 30
MR. WEASLEY
Ron! Harry! It's mad in here.
Let's go outside.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Well, well, well -- Arthur
Weasley.
MR. WEASLEY
(stiffly)
Lucius.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Busy time at the Ministry. All
those raids. I hope they're
paying you overtime.
Malfoy reaches into Ginny's cauldron, removes a very old,
battered copy of A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Obviously not. Dear me. What's
the use of being a disgrace to the
name of wizard if they don't even
pay you well for it.
MR. WEASLEY
We have a very different idea
about what disgraces the name of
wizard, Lucius.
LUCIUS MALFOY
(glancing at the
Grangers)
Clearly. The company you keep,
Weasley. And I thought your
family could sink no lower.
Mr. Weasley moves to hit Lucius Malfoy. Hagrid steps
forward, puts a firm hand on Mr. Weasley's shoulder.
HAGRID
Ignore 'im, Arthur.
Mr. Weasley backs away. Lucius Malfoy tosses Ginny's
BATTERED TEXTBOOK back into her cauldron.
LUCIUS MALFOY
Here, girl. Take your book. It's
the best your father can give you.
Lucius and Draco exit. Hagrid looks at the Weasleys.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 5/14/02 25.
30 CONTINUED: (4) 30
HAGRID
No Malfoy's worth listenin' ter.
Rotten ter the core, the whole
family...
As Harry watches Draco and his father go, we --
DISSOLVE TO:
30A OMITTED 30A
30B EXT. KING'S CROSS - MORNING 30B
Amid a neat line of cars, the Anglia sits at a decidedly
odd angle, as if its driver were not the most skilled
motorist.
31 OMITTED 31
32 INT. KING'S CROSS - DAY 32
The Weasleys and Harry -- pushing large TROLLEYS -- dash
under the LARGE CLOCK which reads two minutes to eleven.
MRS. WEASLEY
Oh dear! The train'll be leaving
any moment! All together now!
Hurrying, they race to PLATFORMS NINE AND TEN. Quickly,
Percy, Fred and George stride briskly toward the stone
barrier that divides the platforms -- and simply
DISAPPEAR.
MRS. WEASLEY
Go on, Ginny. You know what to
do.
Ginny, looking a bit nervous, rushes toward the barrier,
closes her eyes, and sleds...
32A INT. PLATFORM NINE AND THREE QUARTERS - DAY 32A
... out onto the other side. As she gazes at the
HOGWARTS EXPRESS, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley materialize at her
side.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 26.
32A CONTINUED: 32A
MRS. WEASLEY (O.S.)
Come, Ginny. We'll get you a
seat.
32B INT. KING'S CROSS 32B
Ron glances at the clock.
RON
We better hurry.
Harry nods, leans into his trolley and -- CRASH! -- hits
the barrier and bounces back into Ron. A GUARD glowers.
GUARD
What in blazes d'you two think
you're doing?
HARRY
Sorry. Lost control of the
trolley.
(to Ron)
Why can't we get through?
RON
I dunno. The gateway's sealed
itself for some reason.
As Ron presses his ear to the barrier, the CLOCK CHIMES.
HARRY
The train leaves at exactly eleven
o'clock. We've missed it.
RON
Can't hear a thing.
(a sudden thought)
Harry. If we can't get through,
maybe Mum and Dad can't get back.
HARRY
Maybe we should go wait by the
car.
RON
The car!
33 EXT. PARKING LOT (KING'S CROSS) - MOMENTS LATER 33
Pushing their trolleys madly before them, Harry and Ron
dash to the car, load their belongings into the Anglia's
boot.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 27.
33 CONTINUED: 33
HARRY
This is mad. We can't drive to
Hogwarts.
RON
Who says we're driving?
HARRY
You don't mean -- Ron, no.
RON
Look, who knows when Mum and Dad
will get back. And we've got to
get to school, haven't we? And
even underage wizards are allowed
to use magic if it's an absolute
emergency. Least that's what Fred
and George always say...
HARRY
Something tells me we're going to
regret this.
33A INT. ANGLIA - DAY 33A
Ron TAPS his WAND on the dash and the Anglia burbles to
life.
HARRY
No offense, Ron, but are you sure
you know how to fly this.
RON
No problem.
Ron SHIFTS. With a GREAT JOLT, the car lifts from the
ground.
RON
There. See. Now I reckon all we
have to do is find the Hogwarts
Express and follow it. Simple.
Harry nods, not entirely convinced. He peers out the
window. Down below, TWO PEDESTRIANS stare in disbelief.
HARRY
Uh, Ron. I should tell you. Most
Muggles aren't accustomed to
seeing a flying car.
RON
Right.
Ron presses a TINY SILVER BUTTON on the dashboard and
they... DISAPPEAR. Down below, the baffled pedestrians
blink.
28.
34 EXT. FLYING CAR (SCOTLAND) - DAY (LATER) 34
CAMERA STARTS IN the clouds, passes through, finds
Scotland's stunning green. The Anglia's ENGINE PUTTERS
softly, when -- POP! - the car reappears. Ron jabs at
the silver button.
RON
Uh oh. The Invisibility Booster
must be faulty.
CAMERA ZOOMS ALONG the ridge of a cliff. The
car reappears from above, gliding away FROM CAMERA.
RON
Any sign of the train?
HARRY
There! Up ahead! Look...
Along a STEEP BRIDGE, a single line of TRAIN TRACKS
appear.
RON
Brilliant.
Ron SHIFTS, GLIDES DOWN, until the Anglia is only a few
feet above the tracks. The boys peer ahead, looking for
the train.
RON
It must be around here
someplace.
Behind them, through the Anglia's rear window, the
Hogwarts Express APPEARS, closing fast. Harry and Ron
perk up. Smile.
HARRY
Do you hear that?
Then, at precisely the same moment, Harry and Ron
register the DIRECTION of the sound. They glance at each
other, turn as one and see the train GROWING HUGE in the
rear window.
HARRY/RON
Aaaahhhhh!
Ron SPINS THE WHEEL, puts his foot to the gas and -- at
the last possible second -- whips the Anglia out of the
train's path. The car WAFFLES, TOPPLES upside down
briefly, before...
(CONTINUED)
29.
34 CONTINUED: 34
... TILTING onto its side. As it jets under the bridge,
Harry goes SLIDING DOWN ACROSS HIS SEAT, into the door,
and... OUT. Dangling upside-down from the open door, he
watches the Hogwarts Express ZIP PAST and, in one window,
glimpses NEVILLE and SEAMUS, mouths open in astonishment.
RON
Take my hand!
Harry's grips Ron's hand, eyes the train steaming far
below. It's quite a drop. Harry's fingers begin to LOSE
THEIR GRIP.
RON
Hold on!
HARRY
I'm trying! Your hand's all
sweaty!
Straining, Ron yanks him inside, levels off the car. As
Harry falls heavily into his seat, he BUCKLES his safety
belt.
HARRY
I think we found the train.
35 EXT. HOGWARTS CASTLE - FLYING CAR - NIGHT 35
As HOGWARTS CASTLE comes INTO VIEW, the Anglia ENTERS
FRAME.
RON
Welcome home, Harry.
Harry smiles at the sight of it, when... the Anglia
GROANS.
HARRY
Just out of interest, Ron. Have
you ever landed a car before?
RON
Well... no. but, until a few
hours ago, I'd never taken off in
one either.
With that, the car LURCHES, the nose DROPS, and...
RON
Uh oh.
(CONTINUED)
30.
35 CONTINUED: 35
... Harry, Ron and car go pitching through the night. As
Ron rakes the GEARS, they hurtle madly toward the CASTLE
WALL.
RON
IT'S NOT WORKING!
HARRY
UP! UP!
Ron SHIFTS desperately. The Anglia LURCHES up, barely
clears the castle wall. Harry and Ron exchange a look of
relief, when... the car GROANS again, LURCHES...
downward.
HARRY
MIND THAT TREE!
Down below a GIANT WILLOW TREE looms. Ron SHIFTS.
Nothing.
HARRY
TURN! TURN!
Harry reaches over and, together, he and Ron SPIN THE
WHEEL. It's useless. The car is heading straight for the
tree. Desperately, Ron WHIPS OUT his wand and WHACKS THE
DASHBOARD.
RON
STOP! STOP! STOP!
The wand SNAPS IN TWO and -- CRUNCH! -- car meets tree.
Harry blinks. They hang dreamily, BALANCED on the
HIGHEST LIMB.
RON
My wand! Look at my wand!
HARRY
Be thankful it's not your neck.
THWUNMP! Something HEAVY HITS Harry's door, sends a
SHUDDER through the car.
RON
What's happening?
Slowly, they look up and, in disbelief, watch one of the
tree's branches PULL BACK, CURL INTO ITSELF, and come
LASHING FORWARD like a MASSIVE FIST. THWUMP!
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 31.
35 CONTINUED: (2) 35
HARRY/RON
Aaaaahhhhh!
The Anglia tilts crazily, slides backwards and FREE-FALLS
through the air and... LANDS on lower grid of branches.
RON
What kind of tree is this?
Before Harry can respond, the tree begins to PUMMEL THE
CAR from all sides, tossing Henry and Ron about like
popcorn. WINDOWS SHATTER. Heavy DENTS appear on the
roof above Ron and Harry's heads. Then the car FALLS
again...
... SLAMMING HEAVILY TO THE GROUND. Instantly, the
tree's lower branches shoot through the front and rear
windscreens and, gaining purchase, begin to SHAKE THE CAR
BACK AND FORTH.
HARRY/RON
Aaaaahhhhh!
The tree PITCHES the car into the air. As the Anglia
SLAMS DOWN again, bobbing on its SQUEALING SHOCKS, the
ENGINE BURBLES BACK TO LIFE. Harry LOOKS UP, peering
through the shattered windscreen. The willow's branches,
as one, rear back, ready for one last punishing blow.
Harry CRIES OUT.
HARRY
Reverse! Reverse!
Ron SHIFTS, the CAR SHOOTS BACKWARDS, and the willow
PUMMELS THE TREAD-MARKED GROUND they just vacated.
Safely clear, the doors fly open, the seats tip sideways,
and Ron and Harry are ejected. As they hit the ground,
their trunks fly from the boot, Hedwig's cage rockets out
the back window, and Hedwig herself flaps into the night.
Taillights blazing angrily, the BATTERED car speeds off,
fishtailing into the Dark Forest.
RON
Dad's going to kill me.
They hear a TREMENDOUS GROAN, turn back, and see the
Whomping Willow assume its natural form, waiting for its
next victim.
36 EXT. STONE STEPS/ENTRANCE HALL - NIGHT 36
Filthy and bruised, Harry and Ron drag themselves up the
steps. Behind them we see the mountain of student trunks
and caged pets already brought up from the train.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 32.
36 CONTINUED: 36
HARRY
A house elf shows up in my
bedroom, we can't get through the
barrier to Platform Nine and Three
Quarters, we almost get killed by
a tree... clearly someone doesn't
want me here this year.
FILCH
Well, take a good look, lads...
They stop. ARGUS FILCH stands at the top of the landing,
his cat -- MRS. NORRIS -- twitching her tail at his feet.
FILCH
This night might well be the last
you spend in this castle.
37 INT. SNAPE'S OFFICE - MOMENTS LATER 37
CLOSEUP: The Evening Prophet ENTERS FRAME. The HEADLINE
reads: FLYING FORD ANGLIA MYSTIFIES MUGGLES. Below the
fold a PHOTO shows Harry and Lockhart at Flourish and
Blotts. CAMERA PULLS BACK, PROFESSOR SEVERUS SNAPE
stands at his desk, newspaper in hand as Harry and Ron
stare with dread. Filch lurks in the doorway, eying them
with pleasure.
(CONTINUED)
33.
37 CONTINUED: 37
SNAPE
You were seen! By no less then
seven Muggles. Do you have any
idea how serious this is? You
have risked the exposure of our
world. Not to mention the damage
you inflicted on a Whomping Willow
that has been on these grounds for
hundreds of years.
RON
Honestly, Professor Snape, I think
it did more damage to us.
SNAPE
Silence! I assure you, were you
in Slytherin and your fate rested
with me, the both of you would be
on the train home tonight. As it
is --
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
They are not.
Harry and Ron turn. ALBUS DUMBLEDORE stands in the
doorway. Alongside him is a distinctly annoyed PROFESSOR
McGONAGALL.
HARRY
Professor Dumbledore. Professor
McGonagall...
SNAPE
Headmaster, these boys have
flouted the Decree for the
Restriction of Underage Wizardry.
As such...
ALBUS DUMBLEDORE
I'm well aware of our bylaws,
Severus, having written more than
a few myself. However, as Head of
Gryffindor House, it is for
Professor McGonagall to determine
the appropriate action.
RON
(rising gloomily)
We'll go and get our stuff.
PROFESSOR McGONAGALL
What are you talking about, Mr.
Weasley?
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 34.
37 CONTINUED: (2) 37
RON
Well, you're going to expel us,
aren't you?
PROFESSOR McGONAGALL
Not today, Mr. Weasley. But I
must impress upon both of you the
seriousness of what you have done.
I will be sending owls to both of
your families tonight. And you
will each get a detention.
Snape casts a look of pure venom at Harry and Ron.
DUMBLEDORE
Splendid. Now, I suggest we
return to the feast. There's a
delicious-looking custard tart I
want to sample.
Rising, Harry spies an ENVELOPE on the floor. Taking it,
he reads the back: "KWIKSPELL. A CORRESPONDENCE COURSE IN
BEGINNER'S MAGIC." It's addressed to "MR. ARGUS FILCH."
HARRY
Mr. Filch. You dropped this...
Filch turns, eyes the envelope with embarrassment, then
snatches it from Harry's hand and stuffs it into his
pocket.
38 OMITTED 38
39 EXT. HOGWARTS CASTLE - MORNING 39
The Whomping Willow sulks in the courtyard, SLINGS strung
about its injured branches. CAMERA CRANES OVER the
castle walls, REVEALING the exterior of GREENHOUSE THREE,
where students hurry inside for the beginning of class.
40 INT. GREENHOUSE THREE - MORNING 40
As Harry and Ron enter, SEAMUS, NEVILLE and some of the
other Gryffindors hover nearby.
NEVILLE
Detention. On the first day?
SEAMUS
That must be some kind of record.
(CONTINUED)
35.
40 CONTINUED: 40
HERMIONE
I should think you'd count
yourself lucky that's all you got.
RON
I should think you'd mind your own
business.
They glare at each other. PROFESSOR SPROUT, a squat
little witch, TAPS her wand on a stack of POTS.
PROFESSOR SPROUT
Welcome to Greenhouse Three,
Second Years. Today, we will be
re-potting Mandrakes. Now, who
here can tell me the properties of
the Mandrake? Yes, Miss Granger.
HERMIONE
Mandrake, or Mandragora, is used
to return those who have been
transfigured to their original
state. It's also quite dangerous.
The Mandrake's cry is fatal to
anyone who hears it.
PROFESSOR SPROUT
Excellent. Ten points to
Gryffindor. As our Mandrakes are
only seedlings, their cries won't
kill yet. However, they will
knock you out for several hours.
That is why I have provided each
of you with a pair of earmuffs.
If you would then...
Ron frowns. He's gotten a BRIGHT PINK FLUFFY pair. When
the class is ready, Professor Sprout leads them to the
GARDEN AREA. She grasps one of the TUFTY PLANTS before
her... and pulls. Harry gasps. Instead of roots, a
small, muddy, extremely ugly BABY pops out of the earth,
leaves growing right out of its head. Neville's eyes
ROLL BACK. He FAINTS.
Professor Sprout plunges the BAWLING CREATURE deep into a
POT, removes her earmuffs, and the others follow suit.
Everyone save Neville, who lies stretched on the ground.
PROFESSOR SPROUT
Hm. Looks as though Mr.
Longbottom neglected his muffs.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 3/1/02 36.
40 CONTINUED: (2) 40
SEAMUS
No, ma'am. He's just fainted.
PROFESSOR SPROUT
Very well. We'll just leave him
then. Come now. Four to a tray,
plenty of pots to go round...
41 INT. GREAT HALL - LUNCH - DAY 41
Percy enters in the company of PENELOPE CLEARWATER, just
as NEARLY HEADLESS NICK glides by.
PENELOPE CLEARWATER
There's Nearly Headless Nick.
PERCY
Hello, Sir Nicolas.
NEARLY HEADLESS NICK
Hello, Percy. Miss Clearwater.
At the Gryffindor table, Hermione has her nose buried in
Gilderoy Lockhart's Travels with Trolls. Ron runs gobs
of Spellotape over his BROKEN WAND, shakes his head
grimly.
RON
Say it. I'm doomed.
HARRY
You're doomed.
FLASH! -- a LIGHT BLINDS Harry. He blinks, finds a small
boy (COLIN CREEVEY) standing before him with a CAMERA.
COLIN
Hiya, Harry. I'm Colin Creevey.
I'm in Gryffindor too.
HARRY
Hello, Colin. Nice to meet --
COLIN
They're for my dad -- the
pictures. He's a milkman, you
know, a Muggle, like all our
family's been until me. No one
knew all the odd stuff I could do
was magic till we got my letter
from Hogwarts. Everyone just
thought I was mental.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 3/1/02 37.
41 CONTINUED: 41
RON
Imagine that.
COLIN
Say, Harry. D'you think your
friend could take a photo of me
and you standing together? Ya'
know, to prove I've met you?
Harry glances at Ron. He looks positively homicidal.
Mercifully, just then, OWLS STREAM into the Hall.
DEAN THOMAS
Post is here!
One after another, the birds swoop gracefully down,
clutching letters from home. All except one, who plops
beak-first into Ron's soup. Errol.
RON
Bloody bird's a menace -- Oh...
no.
SEAMUS
Heads up, everyone. Weasley's
gotten himself a Howler.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 37A.
41 CONTINUED: (2) 41
NEVILLE
Go on, Ron. I ignored one from
my Gran once... and it was
horrible.
Ron looks pale. Clutched in Errol's beak is a DAMP RED
ENVELOPE. Hands shaking, he takes it, opens it, and...
MRS. WEASLEY'S VOICE THUNDERS, sending plates and spoons
rattling.
MRS. WEASLEY (V.O.)
RONALD WEASLEY! HOW DARE YOU
STEAL THAT CAR! I AM
ABSOLUTELY DISGUSTED! YOUR
FATHER'S NOW FACING AN INQUIRY
AT WORK AND IT'S ENTIRELY YOUR
FAULT! IF YOU PUT ANOTHER TOE OUT
OF LINE WE'LL BRING YOU STRAIGHT
HOME!
(softening suddenly)
Oh, and Ginny dear.
Congratulations on making
Gryffindor. Your father and I are
so proud.
Ginny, sitting a bit apart from the others, looks up
shyly, then returns to the SMALL BLACK BOOK she's
scribbling in. Ron watches the envelope RIP ITSELF TO
PIECES, then endures HOWLS of LAUGHTER from the other
House tables. Colin Creevey snaps a few photos. Harry
looks sympathetically at Ron.
HARRY
Look at it this way. How much
worse can things get?
38.
42 INT. GILDEROY LOCKHART'S CLASSROOM - DAY 42
Gilderoy Lockhart paces before the class. Hermione and
the girls hang on his every word, while Harry and Ron eye
the LARGE, COVERED CAGE RATTLING mysteriously on his desk.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Let me introduce you to your new
Defense Against the Dark Arts
Teacher. Me. Gilderoy Lockhart,
Order of Merlin, Third Class,
Honorary Member of the Dark Force
Defense League and five times
winner of Witch Weekly's Most-
Charming-Smile Award -- But I
don't talk about that. I didn't
get rid of the Bandon Banshee by
smiling at her!
Lockhart awaits laughter. A few students smile weakly.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
I see you've all bought a complete
set of my books. Well done. I
thought we'd start today with a
little quiz. Nothing to worry
about. Just to check how well
you've read them, how much you've
taken in...
Lockhart begins to circulate papers. Harry and Ron
examine the questions. Ron WHISPERS to Harry.
RON
Look at these questions. They're
all about him.
HARRY
'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's
favorite color?'
RON
'What is Gilderoy Lockhart's
greatest achievement to date?'
HARRY
'When is Gilderoy Lockhart's
birthday and what would his ideal
gift be?'
GILDEROY LOCKHART
You have thirty minutes. Start --
now!
As quills begin to dart across pages, we --
DISSOLVE TO:
39.
SAME SCENE - LATER
Lockhart rifles through the completed exams.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Tut, tut. Hardly any of you
remembered my favorite color is
lilac. But Miss Hermione Granger
knew that my secret ambition is to
rid the world of evil and market
my own range of hair care potions.
Good girl.
Hermione beams. Lockhart's expression suddenly darkens.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Now... be warned! It is my job to
arm you against the foulest
creatures known to wizardkind!
You may find yourself facing your
own worst fears in this room.
Know only that no harm can befall
you whilst I am here...
With a showman's flair, Lockhart turns slowly to the cage.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
I must ask you not to scream. It
might provoke them.
A pale Neville draws back. Harry and Ron lean forward.
Lockhart lets the tension build, then WHIPS off the
cover. Inside the cage are several electric blue
CREATURES. Eight inches tall, with pointed faces and
wings, they rattle the bars and pull bizarre faces at the
students.
SEAMUS
Cornish pixies?
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Freshly caught Cornish pixies.
Unable to control himself, Seamus SNORTS with laughter.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Laugh if you will, Mr. Finnegan,
but pixies can be devilishly
tricky little blighters. Let's
see what you make of them now!
Lockhart flings open the cage. Instantly, the pixies
rocket about, spraying the students with ink bottles,
BREAKING BEAKERS and shredding books. Two SEIZE Neville
by the ears, lift him into the air, and begin to circle
the ceiling.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 40.
42 CONTINUED: 42
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Come on now, round them up, round
them up. They're only pixies.
(brandishing his wand)
Peskipiski Pesternomi!
The spell has absolutely no effect. A particularly
obnoxious pixie makes a face, seizes Lockhart's wand and
tosses it out the window. Lockhart joins the stampede to
the door.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
I'll ask you three to just nip the
rest of them back into their cage.
SLAMMING the door, he's gone. Harry, Ron and Hermione
stand blinking. Ron swats a pixie gnawing his ear.
RON
What do we do now?
HERMIONE
(raising her wand)
Immobilus!
The pixies FREEZE IN MIDAIR. Neville falls, PLOPS onto
Lockhart's desk, shaken but unhurt. He looks at
Hermione.
NEVILLE
Why is it always me?
42A OMITTED 42A
42B INT. SEVENTH FLOOR - CORRIDOR - LATER 42B
Fresh from the pixies, Hermione, Ron, Harry and Neville
walk. Hair askew. Robes shredded.
RON
Can you believe him?
HERMIONE
I'm sure Professor Lockhart just
wanted to give us some hands-on
experience.
HARRY
Hands on? Hermione, he didn't
have a clue what he was doing.
(CONTINUED)
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 1/28/02 41.
42B CONTINUED: 42B
HERMIONE
Rubbish. Read his books. You'll
see all the amazing things he's
done.
RON
He says he's done.
43 OMITTED 43
& &
44 44
45 EXT. HOGWARTS - COURTYARD - DAY 45
The Gryffindor Quidditch team -- Harry, Fred, George,
ALICIA SPINNET, KATIE BELL, and ANGELINA JOHNSON -- trail
Oliver Wood through the courtyard, toward the distant
Quidditch pitch. Several students are outside, studying.
WOOD
I spent the summer devising a
whole new Quidditch program.
We're going to train earlier,
harder, and longer!
(squinting)
What the... I don't believe it!
Crossing the courtyard from the other side are SEVEN BOYS
in GREEN ROBES, also carrying broomsticks. At their lead
is MARCUS FLINT, trollish Slytherin Captain. Ron,
sitting at a table with Hermione, looks up.
(CONTINUED)
42.
45 CONTINUED: 45
RON
Uh-oh. I smell trouble.
WOOD
Clear out, Flint! I booked the
pitch for Gryffindor today.
FLINT
Easy, Wood. I've got a note.
As Wood snatches the PARCHMENT from Flint's hand, Ron and
Hermione come up to join the others.
WOOD
'I, Professor Severus Snape, do
hereby give the Slytherin team
permission to practice today,
owing to the need to train their
new Seeker.'
(looking up)
You've got a new Seeker? Who?
A pasty-faced boy pushes to the front. It's... Malfoy.
HARRY
Draco?
DRACO
That's right. And that's not all
that's new this year...
As one, the seven Slytherins hold out seven brand-new
GLEAMING BROOMSTICKS. The Gryffindors look stunned.
RON
Those are Nimbus Two Thousand
Ones.
FLINT
A generous gift from Draco's
father.
DRACO
That's right, Weasley. You see,
unlike some, my father can afford
to buy the best.
HERMIONE
At least no one on the Gryffindor
team had to buy their way in.
They got in on pure talent.
(CONTINUED)
43.
45 CONTINUED: (2) 45
DRACO
No one asked your opinion, you
filthy little Mudblood.
Everyone reacts as if Malfoy has said something horrific
-- everyone save Harry, who looks puzzled. Instantly,
Fred and George fly for Draco's throat. Oliver Wood
holds them back.
WOOD
Save it for the match.
RON
You'll pay for that one, Malfoy!
(whips out his wand)
Eat slugs!
Ron points his cracked wand at Malfoy. PFFT! -- a BOLT
of GREEN LIGHT scissors out the wrong end, hitting Ron
himself in the stomach. As he drops to the grass,
Hermione runs to him
HERMIONE
Ron! Say something!
Ron opens his mouth and... BELCHES. Hermione draws back,
and watches a TRIO of SLUGS dribble out his mouth. The
Slytherins CROW with LAUGHTER. Angrily, Ron rises, only
to BELCH again. Fascinated, Colin Creevey runs up with
his camera.
COLIN
Wow! Can you hold him still,
Harry?!
HARRY
Get out of the way, Colin!
(to Hermione)
Let's take him to Hagrid. He'll
know what to do.
46 INT. HAGRID'S HUT - DAY 46
Hagrid rummages about, looking for something.
HAGRID
Got jus' the thing. Set 'im down
on that chair o'er there.
As Ron sits, Hagrid pitches a BUCKET between his knees.
Harry and Hermione glance up questioningly. Hagrid
shrugs.
(CONTINUED)
44.
46 CONTINUED: 46
HAGRID
Better out than in. Who was he
tryin' ter curse anyway?
HARRY
Malfoy. He called Hermione, well,
I don't know exactly what it
means...
HERMIONE
(quietly)
He called me a Mudblood.
HAGRID
He didn'!
Harry looks confused. Hermione glances at him, then
away, obviously pained by this.
HERMIONE
It means dirty blood. Mudblood's
a really foul name for someone who
was Muggle-born. Someone with
non-magic parents. Someone...
like me. It's not a term one
usually hears in civilized
conversation.
HAGRID
Yeh see, Harry. There are some
wizards -- like Malfoy's family --
who think they're better than
everyone else 'cause they're what
people call pureblood.
HARRY
That's horrible.
RON
(BELCHES forth a
slug)
It's disgusting!
HAGRID
An' it's codswallop ter boot.
Dirty blood. There's 'ardly a
wizard today that's not half-blood
or less. If we 'adn't married
Muggles we'd've died out long ago.
Besides, they haven't invented a
spell our Hermione can't do...
(taking her shoulder)
Don' you think on it, Hermione.
Don' you think on it fer a minute.
THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS - Rev. 4/9/02 45/45A.
47 OMITTED 47
& &
48 48
49 INT. GILDEROY LOCKHART'S OFFICE - EVENING (HOURS LATER) 49
CAMERA PANS the walls of Lockhart's office, lined with
FRAMED PHOTOGRAPHS of... Gilderoy Lockhart. Harry and
Lockhart work by candlelight at an ornate desk. Bleary-
eyed, Harry addresses envelopes, while a cheery Lockhart
puts his signature to the stack of GLOSSY PHOTOS bearing
his image.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Harry, Harry, Harry... Can you
possibly imagine a better way to
serve detention than by helping me
answer my fan mail?
Harry forces a smile.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Fame's a fickle friend, Harry.
Celebrity is as celebrity does.
Remember that.
Harry nods, glancing gloomily at the towering stack of
envelopes that remain. Dipping his quill, he starts to
write, when... a CHILLY VOICE fills the room.
VOICE
Come... come to me...
(CONTINUED)
49.
49 CONTINUED: 49
HARRY
What?
GILDEROY LOCKHART
I was saying, six solid months at
the top of the bestseller list!
Broke all records!
HARRY
No... not you, that... voice.
GILDEROY LOCKHART
Voice?
HARRY
That... voice. Didn't you hear
it?
